Intuition is a powerful tool that’s even more powerful for INFJs. Highly intellectual people are more likely to ignore their intuition and instead rely on logic and rationality, but this leaves us open to making some of the worst decisions possible.
INFJs often make bad choices when we avoid what our intuition is telling us. We ignore our inner voice. We rely so much on reason, or feeling or other people’s advice that our intuition seems to disappear altogether.
It’s easy for us all, regardless of intelligence level, to get stuck in what feels safe rather than challenging ourselves with growth opportunities - but we have so much potential as INFJs if we’re willing to listen, if we’re willing to lean into that small voice and be vulnerable.
How can you tap into your intuition instead? How can you get in tune into your inner guide so that you can use it as a tool to help you in your everyday life? That's why we're here right now! Keep reading...
Avoidance is a very real thing
I have a feeling that you've been there. You know, when you’re feeling really stuck about a big decision, when the anxiety is so high and your mind is so focused on avoiding what it's afraid of, that it can't even handle reality. I'm not talking about avoidance in general but instead avoidance as a defense mechanism for anxiety and fear, a running away from your inner guide.
I don’t know about you, but I avoid things all the time. And it's not just good things that I'm avoiding. It's bad or challenging things too: emails from my boss, a difficult conversation with my partner, an argument with a friend, that diet change that I know I need to make.
What do they have in common? They are all uncomfortable to deal with and can create feelings of anxiety when we think about them - which is why we often put them off for later.
But that's not the whole story. Sometimes avoidance is more than a defense mechanism for anxiety and fear: it can be an existential crisis in disguise.
We’re constantly going through some kind of existential crisis
Awe the ever present existential crisis. I always have one going on and 2 or 3 on the back burner. There’s always something that is filling me with complete and total dread. There’s something that’s bigger than me that I can’t control and therefore feel the need to worry about extensively until there’s something bigger to worry about.
Sometimes all that worry is just a distraction. This might sound crazy, but consider how much time we spend focused on avoiding what we're afraid of because our mind believes it will hurt us or make things worse. We would rather live with this sense of dread about everything bad that could happen to us than actually face those fears and move beyond them - even though they are often just thoughts coming from deep down inside ourselves.
We know exactly what we need to do. We have a special gift that will tell us exactly what to do, if we’ll just listen. What are you avoiding? What are you afraid of?
Work & perfectionism or addiction & self-destruction
So many times instead of facing our problems, we focus on something else. We turn our attention to work or ourselves, looking for something that's perfect, focusing all of our efforts on fixing our supposed flaws instead of on what's in front of us - the thing we’re avoiding.
I know many people who are perfectionists, using work to fill up the gaps that they don't want to focus on inside themselves.
Addiction can look really different than this but when you live with addiction it often has similar patterns: looking at something other than your present reality as an escape from painful feelings. Addiction can be all kinds of things too. It's not just drugs or alcohol. It can be food, work, exercise or even sex. Anything that makes you feel good that you are overindulging in.
It's possible these things, both perfectionism and addiction, can become self-destructive because we're trying to distract ourselves from facing the truth about how we feel. Some intuitives have difficulty recognizing these patterns in their lives, especially INFJs. It can be difficult to even recognize the addiction because we are so unaware of ourselves.
And when we don't recognize these patterns, the messages in our minds are louder and more persistent; this leads us into a spiral of shame and feeling like there is no hope whatsoever.
Burning down your entire life
Have you ever felt the need to burn down your entire life? Like you've messed things up so much that you just want to sell everything you have, buy a plane ticket and move halfway across the world?
I have. I've done it 4 or 5 times now. You get to a point where you just can't handle the way things are and you get this idea in your head that somewhere else would be 1000 times better. And you focus on this idea that moving is the answer, so you put all of this work and money and effort into moving.
And you even feel excited for a while, like the world is full of possibilities that somehow didn't exist before. Of course, you're also filled with terror because you don't like new things and going to the grocery store is even harder than before because you don't even know where it is and they don't have the same one here, so you're not even 100% sure what it's called.
In Wichita it was Dillon's Marketplace. In Branson it was Country Mart. In Birmingham, England it was Tesco. In Charlotte it was Harris Teeter. In Kansas City it was Price Chopper. In Boston it's Stop and Shop.
I’ve been there. I’ve lived there, in that terrible stuck and hopeless feeling for so long. It took me way too long to realize that I had everything I needed to get out of that feeling.
Intuition as a superpower
As INFJs, we have this amazing function called Introverted Intuition. Things just come to us. We just know things. We don’t know how, but we do. When we combine that function with our secondary function, Extroverted Feeling, we just know things about other people. We like focusing on other people because it’s easy. It’s natural. And it doesn’t cause us any uncomfortableness or anxiety.
It’s a lot more difficult for us to focus our intuition on ourselves. It takes work and practice. It takes tapping into our lesser used functions and being present and aware of ourselves enough to focus on what’s going on with us.
Personal growth is uncomfortable, especially for INFJs. We know that growing causes us to be uncomfortable, so we avoid it. We can see the pain coming and feel the fear, so we go the other way. But the thing is, that avoidance only causes more pain. When we fear the discomfort, it grows. And for the INFJ who loves to float through life without noticing how we’re feeling, like me, it can hit you like a ton of bricks when you least expect it. Then what? Burnout, laying on the couch for months on end, feeling hopeless, then eventually confronting the thing anyway.
Breaking the pattern
So how do we break this pattern? How do we pay attention enough to ourselves to hear what our intuition is trying to tell us?
INFJs have three totally different worlds that we live in.
The rational world of society
Most people in the world live in the masculine energy of reason and logic. They want everything to be their version of normal: rational, scientific, explainable. They want people to abide by these rules and act the way that most of the world sees fit.
As INFJs, we can do this most of the time. We can play the part and act like we belong. But we can only do this for so long until we start to feel like we're going to explode. We need more.
The minds of others
The second world that we live in is our intuition as it relates to others. We use our introverted intuition and out extroverted feeling to help others see what's going on int their lives and predict their future. And we're naturally really good at it. We love helping others, counseling them, providing them with the best advice we possibly can. We feel like we're making a wonderful impact on the world through a million little good deeds.
Our own mind
Sometimes our own mind is a really scary place to be. It's the third world that we live in and possibly the best and the worst. I love to dive into my imagination and be in this little world that I've created. It's amazing there. When I'm alone, I spend all my time there.
My head is the worst place to be though when I'm in an existential crisis or when I know that I'm feeling something, but all I can identify is the horrible feeling of being overwhelmed and not knowing why.
You see, we've been taught by the world that we should live in the rational and logical world. But as INFJs, we don't always do that, especially when it comes to our feelings and emotions. They aren't always rational.
Our intuition doesn't make sense a lot of the time. Sometimes we get powerful feelings about something or someone and we don't know why, but we know that it's true. Sometimes we just know that we have to do something, even if it doesn't seem rational when we get the feeling.
Our power source
The answer is that we need to tap into our power source - our emotional center. The best way to do that is to listen to your intuition. Take the time and the space to let your intuition guide you, not only about other people, but also about you, your problems, your crises, the direction that you need to go with everything.
You already have the answer, you just need to listen.
This is why I've put together something new and amazing that I'm calling the Tune Into Your Intuition Challenge!
Tune Into Your Intuition Challenge
This is a 30 day challenge that's designed to help you tune into your inner guide and hear everything that he/she has to tell you.
- Find direction in your life
- Make decisions with confidence
- Tap into your inner wisdom
It's time to focus on yourself for a change and make the small, but powerful shifts that you need to live your best life!
The Tune Into Your Intuition Challenge is 30 days of short lessons to guide you to simple, but powerful shifts to get that amazing change you're looking for. If you follow the simple daily steps, you'll get exactly what you need. Each day has a lesson and an exercise for you to complete, that shouldn't take longer than 5 - 10 minutes of your day.
You'll get the best results if you stick to the plan, but you can always take the challenge as slowly as you need to. If there's a day you need to focus on more to go deeper, you can simply repeat it and keep moving later.
You can do this challenge alone, but it's also a good idea to connect with other INFJs to share your story and hear their stories as well. There's nothing so powerful as hearing someone else say the exact thing that you're going through and knowing that they understand completely.
I've put this challenge in my new premium INFJ Post Newsletter, which you can sign up for right now, for just $5 a month. Along with this challenge, you'll also get access to some amazing content!
The challenge starts June 1, but don't wait to sign up. This subscription price is going up on May 31st. Get in now and lock in this introductory price while you can!
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A new digital course every quarter starting with The INFJ Writer in October. Also, access to all of the premium courses I've done in the past.
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Weekly blog posts that are exclusive to INFJ Post. More in-depth analysis of INFJ traits and self-improvement tactics.
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INFJ Post Forum
Most INFJs struggle to make real friends. Sure, we have the work or school acquaintances and maybe even someone we've known since we were young. But are these friends the kind of people who understand you? Can you discuss with them the depths of your soul or that problem that you've been toying with for a month?
Can you talk about how you have a feeling that certain things are going to happen in the future, without them calling you insane??
I've had friends in the past, but then I made INFJ friends. OMG it's such a difference! It's a life-changing experience when you don't have to explain how your brain works or why you think you can predict the future! It's a whole new thing to know that someone gets you and that you can share everything with them, without having to explain anything!
That's why I've added a forum to the INFJ Post as well! It's a place where you can connect with other INFJs and make real friends, who get you, for life! It's time. You deserve this!
Ready to join the fun? Simply subscribe through the green button at the top of this page or in the lower right hand corner of this page.
If you have a question, please send me, Sarah, an email at email@example.com. It's just me here and I'll get back to you ASAP.